Episode I. Will Brackett asks me dumb shit:
1) What would your dream job be if you weren't doing what you do now?
--- Well, this really isn’t much of a surprise to anyone who knows me at all, but I would one day like to be involved in shooting and directing a film. I’ve always wanted to, but I have kind of realized that I need to make enough money to live off of and while I totally respect all those people who move out to LA with the dream of being discovered, I want to give myself some kind of foundation to live off of before I take that plunge.
2) What is your favorite sexual position?
--- Uhm, well since certain members of my family read this blog… My favorite sexual position is….discrete.
3) What kind of dog would you want if you wanted one?
--- For the longest time now I’ve wanted a dog that’s approximately 1/3 wolf. The rest can be husky or any other really but I just want to get a dog that’s part wolf. They look amazing and I would probably train it to kill people named Will.
4) What was going on in the last porn clip you watched?
--- Again with the questions. Well, if I had to guess, there was probably a guy and a girl participating in some sort of athletic activities. I can’t ever be too sure, since there’s pretty much always just one thing going on. I think I always seem to miss the plots. That’s what I get for showing up late.
5) What was your favorite toy when you were little?
--- Dude, I don’t really remember anything from before I was like 14. I’m dead serious; I have the long term memory of anyone I know. So, I’m going to have to guess again and say it was my Sega Genesis. I played the hell out of some Streets of Rage 2.
6) Jessica Alba or Jessica Biel?
--- This one is easy. Jessica Biel, hands down. That girl is pretty much perfection. Jessica Alba is up there too, but that blonde look kind of killed it for me. I love blondes, but it just didn’t fit her at all. Though I will say, she was damn fine in Idle Hands… All three minutes she seemed to be in of it.
7) Is JP gay?
--- To my knowledge I would say no. I happen to have made some slightly disturbing discoveries about Mr. JP that would definitively lead me to believe that he in fact, is not gay. I mean he was a cheerleader along with the rest of us (except you, you were just the wannabe groupie) and everyone knows that the straight guys act gayer than the gay ones. Not that it matters, because I have seen things that I never want to see again, and I have been a witness to events which would stand up in a court of law. That kid is straight, sorry to disappoint, everything else is just the cheerleading side of him coming out (not like that damnit).
8) Have you ever been in a relationship that you regretted being in?
--- No way. I have quite the interesting track record with women. They have been tall, short, crazy (like ‘BITCH IS CRAZY), deceiving, rich, poor, crazy (like ‘BITCH IS LITERALLY MENTALLY INSANE’), and much more. The sad or good thing here is that I don’t regret any of them. Each relationship that I have been in I have learned at least one thing about myself, and a couple of things about what kind of girl the ‘right’ one will be. So, throwing aside all the hell that most relationships are, I regret none of mine.
9) If you could trade places with anyone famous for a day, who would it be?
--- George W. Bush. Stick with me on this one. I would ‘trade places’ with good ol’ dubya. The reason of course is that I could do whatever the fuck I wanted, act like a complete dumb shit, blow up some random countries, fuck the economy up, and no one would even realize it was me.
10) What is something you wish you could say to one of your co-workers if you knew you couldn't be fired?
--- “Hi, I’m Nick.” I’d say more here but with that whole thing on companies stalking their employees MySpace and Facebook accounts, I’m playing it real safe. I mean, it’s not like I would be targeted for any of that since I’m not exactly high profile or anything, but yeah, I’m done.
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